Do you ever

feel like your life is spinning out of control and you're just along for the ride, holding on for dear life?

I have felt this way more often than not lately. Everyday life is taking it's toll on me mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I find myself getting so caught up in what needs to be done that I miss what's happening right now. Lately, I've gotten too caught up in the image I feel I need to uphold. The Mommy who has it all together. (Or at least most of it.) The problem is, that's not me. I don't have it together. I'm just in survival mode. And, I'm extremely disappointed in myself. Defeated. Ashamed. Disgusted. Shall I go on?

And, my babies are suffering because of it.

Am I good Mommy? Yes, I think I am. But, I could be better. I could try harder. My sweet boy asked me no less than 5 times (if not more) to read him a new book this afternoon. He even waited patiently beside my sewing machine for 5 minutes. I never did it. I was caught up in getting my work done. And that, my friends, is a shame. I am ashamed.